Busy times, busy plants

And less action on the cacti! The other plants have been growing and stuff too. I will however inform the intellectual internet reader that the bromeliad now has two apprentices, and will soon need a pot change to facilitate the continued eduction of his younglings. Along the same train of thought, the sprouty sprout has begun to look like an actual plant! It has three little sprout things with leaves and stems all the other good things little plants should have appended to them. The littlest sprouts however are quickly learning their place in the world, and, overshadowed by their eldest daughter (I have made the executive decision that this asexual plant is a she) who is casting them all in a perpetual shade, will soon die, leaving the world a better place for her. Once they are well established, they too will need a pot transplant.

Little sprouts sprouting sproutily

I am beginning to think along the lines of these more serious gardener types who have a few large pots that can stand to have a few things grow in them at once. I have previously strayed away from them because one of these larger pots cost $$$ and the littler ones cost $, but now having to buy five $ seems less smart than one $$$. We will see what happens. This blog after all is The Big Orange Pot, not The Five Little Orange Pots.


Bromeliad’s wisdom

The bromeliad’s imagined response to the quire faced by the cacti. After the rainstorm, they have been throughly soaked through, and there is a visible mold growing in the soil of the larger cactus. Beyond being quite concerned, all members of the family conversed with the Bromeliad, pulling with great effort from its central blossom the following words of wisdom:

Come into the light

Let the sun warm your wet dirt

Healing now abounds

The bromeliad would neither confirm nor deny that the words were his own, declining when we asked him for comment. That, however, is to be expected, because he, like the rest of them, are plants, and can’t speak.

It was a dark and stormy night

And the cacti were only sort of left out in the rain. While we can ignore the image of me running out in the pouring rain to get two little pots of cacti, and instead get on with the image of the bigger cactus being a little wobbly in the pot, as it fell over before it was rescued. Additionally, the rain pounded so hard on the little cacti that it up rooted several of the remaining cacti, and have had to be re-planted in the mud. While a stark end to the extended combat mission, the families are glad to have the cacti back among their midst. The young bromeliad apprentice will have his first chance to exercise healing magic upon their return.

News from the front line

Both pots of cacti have reported back from the front lines with glorious tidings! They are pleased to report that not only are they surviving the squirrel onslaught, they are thriving. All cacti at this point have taken root and fully recovered from the spillage of a little while back, even if they are right now at a slightly cockeyed angle. On the homefront, another batch ammunition has been produced and will be distributed to the cacti as resupply this upcoming weekend, providing much needed relief, as the effect of this of the sriracha death spray’s effectiveness has eroded in the past few days. The plants on the windowsill, however, wait with baited breath for the next phase of the attack, possibly commencing in as little as twenty four hours.

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First day on the battlefield

After a full twenty four hours in the cold bright world, the succulents are faring well. The bigger red cactus is doing fine, as it has the previous couple excursions, due to the vast number of spikes it has to decapitate would be attacking squirrels. The ten teeny tinny cacti are doing fantastic, quite a turn around from the previous adventure’s end in utter disaster. Both cacti are enthusiastic about their fortunes and have opted to stay out for another night. But the day did not go so well for all in the party. The Argyroderma has suffered from a bite on the back side of one of its upper leaves. Without spikes and thorns to protect it, the little rock has lost heart and has retreated back to the windowsill. The twin big green leafy plants are trying with all their might to persuade the little adventurer to return to the line of battle, but such far are having little luck. It seems at this point that only encouragement from the illustrious Bromeliad itself would have the weight to convince the Argyroderma to return to the front, encouragement that is so far not forthcoming. The Bromeliad it would appear has different plans…

Plants after day outside

The party after the first twenty four hours outside, armed with sriracha death spray.

Armed to the teeth

Not willing to give in, the succulents have returned to the field. After a week of cold, wet, and dark weather, all the plants look pretty much exactly the same as they did before. Anxious to be grow up into the world, they are arming themselves against the mighty force of the squirrels’ army. Coated with a sriracha mist of death, they are willing to try to face the stampede, no matter how many the force sends their way. Armed to the teeth, they are ready to face the cold bright world.

Death Spray

I told myself when I started my blog that I should give some instructions on how to garden, and so far I have been a bit light (meaning none at all) on this topic. So, now I will explain the idea behind death spray.

  1. Find empty spray bottle
  2. Fill it with a little water
  3. Pour in some vinegar
  4. Dump in some sriracha
  5. Spray plants
  6. Avoid breathing in deathly fumes
  7. Place plant outside
  8. ???
  9. Watch and laugh as squirrels try to eat your plants and run away in extreme pain