They recall their story

On this cold and dreary Sunday afternoon, the plants begin to tell the story of their adventures. It began as such:

Less than ten minutes after I had retreated inside the safety of the house and left the plants out to face the cold world with little more than encouraging words and a bottle of sriracha spray, the squirrel nation attacked. In an epic stand off lasting until the wee hours of the morning, the beasts lunged and clawed, falling back to regroup when the two larger cacti shot out their thorns which impaled themselves in the faces of a few of the more unlucky squirrels. The onslaught continued with the tide turning slowly but surly in favor of the plants. However, just when a victory of the patio seemed secure and in sight, the beasts stole the two little long thin sprout things right out from the bromeliad’s nose. Casting haiku after haiku in their general direction, he was ultimatly unable to prevent them from getting away, and all he was able to utter were the words

Lost though they may be

Much learned from them, we have now

Sacrifice more same

With hostages in hand, the plants held off the attacks and sent a single negotiator to their midst. The ploy however was under way. The Argyroderma, still bearing the scars from battle, called out the squirrel leader to converse. What the living stone said was not recorded in the history books, because stones are very dense, and their grammar skills not impeccable. However, as the Argyroderma tried to form coherent sentences with the squirrel king, the cacti had started their second phase of the plan…

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